question 1a. It captures the idea that emotional management helped participants to succeed in their jobs. Two subthemes are also explained below, relating to gender (Subtheme 1a) and leadership/managerial roles (Subtheme 1b). In looking across all participants, 91% reported statements consistent with this overall theme. Various idiosyncratic rationales were offered to explain how emotional modulation related to competence, such as some participants believing that the work at hand required them to be non-emotional: “While you are being emotional, you are not being productive” (Participant K, Legal Field, Baby Boomer). Another example is included below:
I do think that in general, a surgeon is going to be more effective and better at their job if they’re not emotional, which doesn’t mean to not connect with patients…. But I also think, particularly in the operating room, if you’re getting anxious or very frustrated or emotional, you’re going to have difficulty doing your job effectively. (Participant J, Surgeon, Generation X)
Others believed that modulating their emotions helped them to work effectively with others at work. Participants spoke to modulating emotional displays because openly showing their emotions was unprofessional, immature, inappropriate, or unproductive (e.g., “but I’ve kind of tried to stop being in people’s faces about it [frustration], because it just, I think it spirals things more out of control” [Participant F, Surgeon, Generation X]). Additional descriptive statements include:
Interviewer: So, in these situations when you’re feeling a range of emotions…how do you cope with these emotions?
I think I mostly just always strive to remain professional. I mean I would say above and beyond, that would be my goal at work is to always have that sort of professional outlook…and, um, if situations do get stressful, I think it’s even more important to remain professional. (Participant Q, Surgeon, Millennial)
In relation to an angry colleague:
He got very, very, very worked up and started, you know, really not speaking
appropriately to me and I was like, I’m not gonna have this conversation if we can’t have mutual respect for each other. You know, once you cool down come into my office and-
conversation, ‘cause- outside of his office and came over and said, “I can’t believe you- that’s how you managed that conversation. That was awesome.”… And I said, “Well what else am I gonna do?” I’m not gonna get worked up with him and then we both can’t focus and have that clear mind to actually resolve the issue, you know. (Participant V, Finance, Millennial)
There were also concerns about the impact their emotionality might have on how others perceived their competence. Displays of negative emotions (e.g., anger, frustration) were seen as particularly detrimental to conveying a professional demeanor or to moving work forward. The following statement explicates this idea:
[Reacting with frustration will] build barriers that you have to deal with in the future. It’s going to damage working relationships, I mean no one likes to be yelled at. No one likes to be called out. And so, it’s just more effective…. Me exposing my frustration, and what I’m really feeling at that second, isn’t going to further my goal of what I’m trying to get done. (Participant M, Technology, Generation X)
Notably, in service of modulating emotions to convey competence, some participants also spoke to engaging in EL-like behaviors when they experienced emotions. For example, the first of the following quotes provides a textbook example of surface acting (i.e., changing observable expressions, but not internal feelings; Grandey, 2000), whereas the second relates to deep acting (i.e., changing internal feelings to match external expressions; Grandey, 2000):
I just try and keep a smile on my face even if I’m like super pissed. You grit your teeth and smile and say, “Thank you. Yep, that works.” And you do not feel that way at all. (Participant E, Surgeon, Millennial)
Because you have to understand where they’re coming from or else, you won’t be able to draw the bridge and get on the same page. (Participant V, Finance, Millennial)
Subtheme 1a: Emotional modulation is particularly important for women. A subtheme emerged from this overall theme, wherein 68% of participants indicated that displaying emotions as a woman has a particularly negative effect on others’ perceptions of competence. Many
reported the sense that there were different standards for women’s emotional displays, as men were given more leeway for displaying emotionality, particularly negative emotions. Participants often reported detrimental outcomes when they did express emotions openly. Descriptive
statements include:
But I know he doesn’t- he’s not like said this to me, but I’ve just kind of like, felt the vibes that when I get...emotional, and not in the sense of crying, but when I get very passionate, or angry, or like, disagreeing with him on something...and maybe my voice raises a few notches, he doesn’t respond well. He’s not hearing me anymore, he’s just...he just feels like, the hysterics. And I’ve told myself that, I’m like, “okay, you cannot show your emotion to him because he’s not gonna hear what you’re saying”...and I feel like that’s the case with a lot of men. At least in my experiences in the workplace. (Participant P, Law [Sports], Millennial)
I’m a woman, I’m not supposed to be loud…. Lots of us were getting, um, emotional, and I stood up and said something about the president…and one of my colleagues stood up and said “Well, let’s not get hysterical.” He called me hysterical in that meeting, and I (laughs), I kinda went ‘ugh’.... And then I thought, ‘Am I hysterical? No, I’m, I’m
excited, and I’m upset.... But I’m not hysterical.’ And he didn’t call that male colleague of mine on the right who just said other things in an, in a very excited way, he didn’t call him hysterical. (Participant U, Scientific Research, Baby Boomer)
Subtheme 1b: Emotional modulation is particularly important for leaders/managers. Another subtheme surfaced within this overall theme. Fourteen of 22 participants (64%) reported that emotional modulation is key to taking up a leadership or management role. Some
participants described the feeling that their emotional displays were highly visible to their direct reports, and as such, they felt a responsibility to limit emotional displays, such as:
Part of the definition [of leadership], like I think I said earlier, like I really think the surgeon sets the tone, and I think that, um, that is a responsibility of the leader is to be cognizant of that…to at least some extent and try to- to the best of their.... We all have bad days where we feel cranky or whatever but try to the best of your ability to like set that tone...’cause I do think that that is an important part being the leader of that situation. (Participant Q, Surgeon, Millennial)
Others reported that successfully modulating emotions was important when ascending the career ladder to leadership positions or when holding a role that is high in the hierarchy. For
example, participants reported, “You know, at my level you can’t really...you have to stay cool” (Participant V, Finance, Millennial) and “In a very professional place, you don’t really get to the high levels of achievement if emotions get into the equation at all, at that point” (Participant K, Legal Field, Baby Boomer).
Overall, Theme 1 and Subthemes 1a and 1b addressed research question 1a, providing three potential reasons why participants might have modulated their emotions. First, they connected emotional modulation to competence. Second, they did not want to fulfill the stereotype of an overly emotional, incompetent woman. Third, they viewed emotional modulation as an important leadership competency.
Theme 2: Emotionality as a tool. The next theme summarizes a second reason why