At a very deep level all is one and there exists the realisation that you are a part of everything just as everything is a part of you. Or, more accurately, you are everything just as everything is you. At this deepest level love is equivalent to sameness, oneness, union. There is no
difference between you and the universe, nor between you and God, nor between you and anybody else. Consequently you realise that there is no need to change yourself or others or to attach conditions to your love because you are one already. Love is not something to be attained, worked at, given or received; it just is, between you and everything and indeed between every part of the universe and every other part. Nor is this a temporary state – since its very beginning and for as long as it continues to exist the nature of this universe will, at a very deep level (viz. that of the Sach Kand aspect of God), always be pure love.
However, this level is quite esoteric and hard to grasp, harder still to apply and live in practice in this physical world. Nor, whilst the reality is separate within itself, would such an approach be a whole and complete way in which to live: there are other aspects to the Godhead other than pure love and mankind’s “function” as it were is to express and develop these aspects of God in a variety of different ways through a variety of different combinations.27 Nevertheless, whilst you probably won’t
choose to live your life solely as an expression of love in its purest sense, it is worthwhile experientially understanding the purest, deepest nature of love both for its own sake and also because every other form of love is just a more or a less dilute expression of love in this purest, deepest sense, often combined with a higher or a lower admixture of other
concepts/emotions such as attachment, joy etc. The best way to fully understand love’s deepest, purest nature is to meditate deeply on the nature of the Sach Kand aspect of God (see the section “Going for conception after a tantric session” for further details on the nature of the reality and the aspects of God). You will certainly find it a most blissful and illuminating experience. To repeat, love in its deepest, purest form is equivalent to sameness, oneness, union.
At a less but still deep level love is equivalent to acceptance
unconditionally given, i.e. without judgement of any sort. At this level a degree of separation exists as the love is given from one entity and
received by another. Even if they both give to and receive from each other continuously and simultaneously still there persists the belief, the
perception within themselves, that they are in some way separate to each
27 This indeed is the “function” (when viewed from the higher planes) of all the lower planes of
other. Nevertheless, unconditional love is quite a high state of being and definitely one worth aspiring to and trying to embody along with its correlate, unjudgementalness. Please note that unjudgementalness and uncondtionality means that you accept the other as he/she/it is without the desire to make him like (the same as) you nor to help him progress/see the light as this often phrased. True unconditional love accepts
completely and allows the other to take his own path in life, make his own decisions and subscribe to his own beliefs and values. Even if the other makes what you yourself perceive as mistakes, even if those
“mistakes” harm him. On one level they may be harmful but on another level they are rebalancing aspects of that person’s psyche and so are a necessary part of his evolutionary path. And you only perceive them as mistakes from within the context of your own psyche and value system which is, of necessity, different – embodying different priorities, different understandings and different goals – to his psyche.28 As a brief sidenote here there is the question of why, if unconditional love is unconditional and allows and accepts, why then is this Earth life and indeed life in the lower three planes of the creation as a whole something of a school where lessons are continually presented to each individual soul and the more that you progress and master these lessons, the better your life becomes and the happier and the more harmonious you are as a person? If indeed the lower three planes were truly an expression of unconditional love then there would be no such thing as progress and self-development for all states of being would be equally accepted, valued and loved. The reason as to why this is not the case is that the three planes below the Great Void are Kal’s domain not the domain of Sach Kand29. That is to say they are run by Kal, are an expression of his nature. And Kal’s heart is closed for he understands not love nor its nature. The reason for this is very esoteric and has to do with the exact way in which the creation was projected from The Source, the exact way in which the creation was able to be projected from The Source. Suffice to say that God needs and learns from mankind (and the lower three planes) just as much as mankind (and the lower three planes) needs and learns from God. And that the true nature of tragedy is forseeable inevitability embodying unfortunate
consequences (though you won’t see these consequences as unfortunate if you’re completely unjudgemental, loving completely unconditionally).
At a more superficial level love is equivalent to approval, to a judgement that this person / event / idea is one which you agree with, one
28 “Psyche” by the way comes from the Greek ψύχη and means “soul” so we return once more to the
chakras and their balancing and mastering.
29 Kal is the Lord of the causal plane of existence, and, consequently, of the three lower planes of the
creation below the Great Void as a whole: the causal, the astral and the physical. See the section “Going for conception after a tantric session” on p.”…” for more information on this topic.
which is harmonious with who you are, with your values. Either because he / she / it is like you or because he is as you yourself would like to be, in whole or in part. This is conditional love – love which is given only if certain conditions are met and fulfilled; conditions which originate within your own psyche. The thing to realise about conditional love is that it is a form of judgement, a desire to restrict and limit another person (in order to make them like you are and so attain sameness, union with them; the deeper nature of love and each soul’s efforts towards it is evident here).
Although at a very deep level within you, within your own
subconscious, you already are one with everything and everybody and so embody and express love in its purest form every second of every day of your existence, at the level of the conscious ego personality it is, for most people, only conditional love which is experienced, which is given and received. Conditional love is, however, better than no love at all and often serves a useful function in many people’s evolutionary path. This is because, firstly, it helps them on their way towards an understanding of unconditional love and also because, for those who have yet to attain self- love, love conditionally given to them often acts as a powerful motivating factor pushing them to develop and progress (the “I’ll love myself and/or be loved by others if I become better / smarter / thinner / richer etc.” syndrome). Of course in the latter case love unconditionally given to them would be a better solution as it will usually help them to attain a state of self-love far more swiftly than any form of conditional love they could be given. You see, the great thing about unconditional love, from the point of view of he / she who receives it, is that unconditional love is permanent and lasting: it will not be diminished by anything they do or fail to do, by anything that they are or that they fail to be. Once they experientially realise, once they feel, that another can love them just as they are then it becomes a whole lot easier for them to love themselves.
Now, romantic love is usually conditional and consequently intrinsically temporary for its being given is dependent upon certain conditions being fulfilled – and one’s state of being is continually
changing on all levels during one’s sojourn in the three planes below the Great Void. Yet they can only give conditional love to you whilst you fulfil their conditions, and you can only give it to them whilst they fulfil yours. You may get lucky and you both evolve in the same ways, in the same direction, to the same timescale thereby enabling you both to fulfil each other’s conditions on a continuing, ongoing basis. This is what usually occurs when soulmates get together or when the lovers are from two different yet closely connected soulgroups. However, it is more often the case that your two natures, your two souls, will as time goes on develop in different directions. If this is the case with you and your
you have together, every moment of it, while it lasts. Then, as your paths diverge and you no longer are well matched, no longer have much which you value to offer each other, then go with the flow and take your own path with detachment, with gratitude for the magic moments you had together and without bitterness in your heart or regrets in your mind.
The other alternative, the one which most people try to follow at least at first, is to try to layer some sort of permanency over their
conditional love for each other. Such as, for example, through marriage vows, possessive love etc. Such attachment is understandable for even conditional love is a very pleasant, very intense, very precious experience for most people: it is a deep indication that another approves of who and what you are (which helps you yourself to build your own self-love) and it also means that you no longer feel all alone in this cold, hard world. Ultimately however no such measures are of themselves of any use or value. If your love for each other is conditional then there will come a time, most often in this lifetime but maybe several lifetimes down the road, when you don’t fulfil their conditions and they don’t fulfil yours. At which point your natures, your deep souls and your paths in life will begin to push you both to each take your different directions and any attachments, vows, possessiveness or other restrictions which you’ve layered over yourselves will only serve to build up tensions, difficulties and an increasing dissatisfaction within you both. Far better to go where life is taking you. Life was originally intended to be enjoyable and easy after all – it is only humans who choose to make it difficult and a trial. Finally, of course, it is important to realise that staying in a particular relationship or situation only due to a sense of obligation or duty is neither going to make you happy nor is it going to help you to truly progress spiritually.
If you do want a particular love relationship to be very long-lasting the only true solution is to make the love on which it is based permanent – and that means unconditional. So that no matter where your partner’s life takes him or her, and yours you, and no matter what he/she becomes or what you become, you will always deeply, unconditionally love each other. When you both have such unconditional love for each other then no vows, possessiveness, attachment or other restrictive measures will be necessary. For you will always love each other no matter what. Perhaps a practical version of this solution for life on Earth would be to initially get together with your partner on the basis of conditional love and then work towards developing unconditional love the each for the other. In terms of permanency such a conditional love would be best founded upon the nature of your partner’s deep soul, or what most people would call the true, deep personality. Things such as external life conditions, spoken words and even actions are often more the flows and eddies of life’s
unseen forces being expressed rather than an accurate
reflection/expression of the fullness of an individual’s true, deep nature or soul. And everybody goes through hard, difficult periods in their lives (due for example to hard transits to their natal charts) during which their actions, words and life conditions and even they themselves will appear to others in an actively unfavourable light that is far from being an accurate representation of their true nature. The Earth life is, after all, primarily about limitation and learning how to overcome it. It would just be a shame if you failed to recognise a partner who would be ideal for you just because you were so caught up in focusing on superficial
impressions that you ended up giving them more weight than the nature of his or her deep soul. Plus it’s one thing to fall in love with someone merely on the basis of the external motions they are going through and quite another thing entirely to fall in love with them on the basis of the true nature of their deep soul. Which one do you think is deeper, more profound, longer-lasting and of greater value? If love has to be in some way conditional – and it does seem that for most people on this Earth at least romantic love does have to be in some way conditional – basing that love on the true nature of your partner’s deep soul serves to make that love as long-lasting and as unconditional as is possible; for most people on this Earth, within the context of a romantic relationship.
At any rate, along with loving conditionally the other big difficulty which most people tend to introduce into their love lives is loving with attachment. In this context the thing to realise about love, any love, is that it always connects both the giver and the receiver directly to the Sach Kand aspect of God and as such nourishes, sustains, lifts higher and makes more joyous both the giver and the receiver. Attachment,
however, always originates within your own soul and remains connected to nothing but your own soul. As such attachment will always be fuelled only by your own personal energy. This means that all attachments – of whatever form – will always use up your own energies thereby
decreasing the energy you have with which to live freely and happily. The more energy which is used up in attachment, the less energy you have for other things, such as awareness. Indeed when it is said that people fall ill of a broken heart – be it physically or just an emotional state of deep melancholy and amotivation – what in fact is happening is that they have built up a large forcefield of attachment within their own souls which, as it cannot express itself through the attainment of the person or relationship situation which it is directed towards, begins to accumulate in the body feeding upon all the body’s other energies to sustain itself. Attachment combined with conditional love is always a hard and difficult mix to live with as the attachment will push you
whilst the fact that the love is conditional will both make you insecure that the love will at some point no longer be given to you aswell as making you continually critical and judgemental within yourself of your partner as you seek to ascertain whether he/she still fulfils the conditions you have set in order to give your love. So once again it’s a question of disharmony within your psyche, with different parts of your soul pulling you in different directions.
The solution to attachment, of course, is detachment. That one is fairly common knowledge. What few people tell you or know is that the way to attain detachment is to realise that love comes from within you not from anyone or anything external. Consequently you don’t need to do great things, become a better person, be involved with a particular man or woman or hold on to your partner in order to be loved. Once you realise that love comes from within you then you no longer crave after and need love to be given to you externally for all the love you could ever possibly use or desire, and a thousand times more, is already there inside you. This in turn frees you to enjoy any love given to you from outside for its own sake rather than to grasp after it as you seek to fill an emptiness inside of you. Not that such an emptiness can ever be filled by loved poured into you from the outside. It’s an internal thing and has to do with your own understanding of love, yourself and how it all works. In
practical terms essentially what is involved is opening and developing your heart chakra thereby allowing the deeper levels of your being to flow into the more superficial levels of your being.
At any rate such internal work is well worth undertaking for a strong self-love is important both in itself and also as a basis for loving others. You see, the more open and developed that your heart chakra is (and also more generally your energetic system as a whole) the more you can love, the more that you are able to love. Both due to the mechanical aspects of it all (more love energy can flow through a wide open heart chakra than through a small and fairly closed heart chakra) and also because by opening your heart chakra more you fetch yourself closer to the Sach Kand aspect of God and so make your soul, your deep
personality, more loving by nature. Please bear in mind that loving and being able to love relates to receiving love as much as it does to giving