La comida deberá presentarse cortada para satisfacer las necesidades de los

Student F ile 5G-2BA

Gisela M is an experienced older woman, a long-time student of the School and a dear friend of ours; she lives in Paris, France. A fter h er unsuccessful marriage ended, she decided th at life held more for her as a businesswoman than as a housewife. Gisela is attractive and has many romances, but sees no reason why she should tie herself down to anyone and give up her successful career.

Turmoil came into h er life in the form of a 22-year-old student, Jacques. Gisela was probably flattered by this at­ tractive youngster’s attentions, and the affair had about it all the romantic euphoria th a t only the young seem able to bring to a love affair. Finally they became lovers. A fter a time, though, Jacques’ possessiveness and intensity began to inter­ fere with Gisela’s independence. Also she found Jacques far less sophisticated than most of h er friends. She tried to push him out of her life, and finally in a stormy scene she had him physically removed from her apartm ent by another of her friends. Late th at night she received a call from the gendar­ merie: They had fished a half-dead Jacques out of the Seine. W hether this was a suicide attem pt or ju st a piece of manipu­ lation we don’t know; anyway, Gisela unhappily took him back into her life. She wrote to us in much distress wanting, as she

150 SA TISFYIN G TH E RO M A N TIC N EED S O F A SH EIK

put it, the reverse of a love spell: some magic whereby she could successfully get Jacques to leave without hurting him.

I t turned out th a t Jacques was a Leo—one of the most loyal of all natures. Almost no m atter what you say to a Leo; once he or she has become your friend, he will remain loyal. If he finds out th at a friend is really being underhanded with him, it tem porarily sh atters his world. Consequently we warned Gisela th at she would have to deal very delicately with Jacques and not try to th ru st him out of her life as she had before. We advised her first to find another companion for Jacques, one whom he could learn to trust; and then to follow the path we gave her to unbind the ties between them. Sexual ties can be very deep, especially when it is the first intense experience for one of the partners. Gisela was able slowly and carefully to wean Jacques of his romantic love for her; and they still remain friends. Y et to do this, she had to use all h er skill and sophistication, and for many months her life remained a turmoil. She lost several good business con­ tacts, ju st because she let Jacques become bonded to her.

A strom antically Avoiding the Spell

o f D esire

Desire strikes in the most surprising places. People who are altogether unsuited for one another often find themselves in the throes of a passionate love affair because of the attrac­ tion they feel for each other. This attraction may derive from past lifetimes lived together or from a likeness of natures or, as Ibn Saud noted, from a total difference between natures. In this case, each finds novelty and excitement in exploring the other’s ideas and habits. The problem is: Most people are unable to separate in their own minds honest desire from th e qualities and natures th a t when combined would make a last­ ing, long-term relationship work. Desire often runs its course quickly; however, if th e relationship is consummated th e couple are bound together for they have shared many things, ju st as in a friendship ritual. Perhaps they have bathed to­ gether; they have eaten together or perhaps they have even,

SA TISFYIN G T H E RO M AN TIC N EED S O F A SH EIK 151 in the simile of the romantic magazines, ‘used one another’s toothbrush.’ Any of these sharings can bind them together. Anthropologists have also noticed th at the sexual act tends to bind the male to the female; for Mother N ature arranges it so th a t the natural result of such sex acts, the child, is to be protected and consequently the male instinct leads one who has committed the act of fathering to wait around for the birth. If you enter into any relationship th at is based purely on desire, and the partners have little in common, you m ust be careful not to bind yourself to the partner, and equally careful to try your best not to let him get bound to you. One way of doing this is to w ear closed rings on your fingers. These will diminish your susceptibility to psychic entangle­ ment. Be honest with your partner about your needs, and be honest about your long-range expectations; y®ur problems will be minimized.

When binding occurs as it did in Jacques’ case, you have to act in such a way th a t the bond will be broken with minimum pain.

Using Your Incom patibility Wheel