CONCEPTOS PARA COMPRENDER LA INVESTIGACIÓN

Farewells like so many other aspects of the leaving process were affected by migrants‘ relationship dynamics and feelings about migration. New Zealanders with large kinship and friendship networks often held farewell parties. Alicia Matene and her husband Willie had a huge social network in Tokoroa made up of Alicia‘s softball club, netball team, Nga Tai Tamariki o Tokoroa Māori culture group, as well as their work colleagues, old school friends and family:

We hired the local rugby club and invited everyone in town; put on the food and refreshments and had a great get together. The day started early with a mixed netball game followed by a Nga Manu past and present softball match. A good friend offered his DJ services and the culture group provided a fantastic floorshow which incorporated the junior, intermediate, and senior groups. We ate, danced, sang, drank, had lots of speeches. There were lots of tears and an abundance of Kiwi memorabilia (in case we forgot our roots) and farewell gifts. We felt so loved and missed already.68

David Cavanagh from Invercargill enjoyed a riotous party which continued through the night until the morning of his departure. His mates capped off the event by pulling brown eyes as he walked out to the plane. Eventually police were called to the airport to discipline the unruly crowd.69

Some migrants‘ workplaces put on farewells. Trina Campano and her husband Tony had two work farewells. One was a blokes-only event whereas the other was more family friendly:

67 _{Jennifer Cooper, interview by author, Canberra, ACT, Australia, 12 November 2010.} 68

Matene, written narrative.

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He‘d had a formal farewell in Napier where he was working – and he had a stripper. But we did have a corporate farewell which was really really nice. And we were given a really nice gift that lives on this day and just really nice things were said. 70

Most migrants tended to have a series of smaller get-togethers with family and friends before leaving. Jeanne Cashman, who was migrating partly to escape her controlling mother, was stressed out by her mother‘s wish for a family portrait before she left. After leaving her mother Jeanne travelled to Auckland where she said goodbye to her brother and then met up with her travelling companions at the airport.71 _{Parents and a few siblings often came to the}

airport or port to say a final goodbye. This was an emotional time for migrants.

Farewells were particularly difficult for migrants who worried about the family they were leaving behind, or who were moving at another‘s behest. Women in particular found leaving loved ones a difficult emotional experience. Annette Schnack was worried about deserting her aging parents.72 For Sally Healey, saying goodbye to her mother, who had been so gracious about the migration ‗was one of the hardest things I had ever done‘.73

Jeanne Cashman had mixed feelings. She was happy to be escaping her difficult mother but still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend.74 For Simon Gower and his wife, leaving behind both their large close families was ‗quite a wrench‘.75 For those who were not migrating by choice, departure was particularly upsetting. Jinene Morgan, who migrated to Brisbane with her parents, was an unwilling participant: ‗I had just completed Form 5 and was desperate to stay in NZ to be with my friends‘.76 Elizabeth O‘Connor who was reluctantly moving to

Melbourne with her young family so her husband could do further medical training was very worried prior to the flight:

I remember the night before I didn‘t sleep a wink. I stayed awake the whole night. I wrote a letter to our very close friends in the Hawke‘s Bay and I did not sleep. I just stayed awake. Because it was the six am flight; the flight from hell ... I was so stressed I couldn‘t sleep. But I wasn‘t actually stressed, I‘d gone beyond stress. I was actually very calm. So I was just flat- lining really...But inside I was just screaming, ―Oh my God, What are we doing here?‖77

70 _{Campano, interview.} 71

Cashman, interview.

72 _{Annette Schnack, written narrative sent to author, 29 September 2009.} 73 _{Healey, written narrative.}

74 _{Cashman, interview.}

75 _{Simon Gower, written narrative sent to author, 26 October 2009.} 76

Jinene Morgan, written narrative sent to author, 24 September 2009.

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The final farewell at the airport was often a difficult time as it brought home the reality of the move. Wendy Bull experienced a mixture of emotions when she departed from Hamilton in 1971:

I recall the family were at the airport – it was quite a big deal to fly – even back in 1971. There were many tears shed but we looked forward to it with much enthusiasm (even though I cried most of the way over).78

Leaving loved family members and friends was a difficult experience, especially for those who were apprehensive about migration.

But a considerable number of migrants felt only excitement and anticipation at the prospect of leaving New Zealand for Australia. Matthew O‘Brien, who travelled to Australia in 1990 with a friend for a working holiday, reflected that he was oblivious to his parents‘ feelings: ‗I didn‘t really think how it would affect the people around me. I was just keen to have a good time‘.79 For others, such as Paul, leaving behind a messy family situation entailed a sense of relief. Quite a few migrants, especially younger travellers, were excited about the start of a new adventure. John Husband knew he would miss his family friends but closer to the date he and his siblings found themselves more eager than upset:

But the excitement of coming to Australia overtook us from what we really wanted ... sort of above and beyond what we‘d sort of been expecting. ―Wow, we‘re going to Australia! Wow that‘s pretty neat!‖ And it was all sort of rosy and everything‘s looking good.80

Especially for those who were unclear as to how long they would be away from New Zealand, moving to Australia was seen as starting something new rather than leaving New Zealand behind.