otras formas de delincuencia organizada
A/CONF.213/18 310 En la ponencia sobre el desarrollo humano y el hacinamiento en las
When my best friend Sally turned nine she invited all of her best friends to the movies. For her birthday outing she chose The Poseidon Adventure, a film about a cruise ship capsized by a tsunami. We sat in the dark chewing on Fantales and watching the cruise ship
passengers partying on New Year’s Eve while the wave hurtled towards them. There was a minister who was questioning his faith in God. There was an elderly Jewish woman who was off to visit her daughter in Israel. And there was a shy bachelor, obsessed with his health.
After the wave hit and the ship turned upside down I stopped eating the sticky lollies and instead clung on tight to the leather elbow rests beside my seat. One by one the characters were picked off by the screenwriters, a different gruesome end for each party guest, but only after each of them had tried to save all the others. The elderly Jewish woman swam to her death. Her husband wasn’t sure he could endure the grief of losing her. At the end of the movie the survivors climbed, blinking, out into the glaring sunshine that poured down on the bottom of the capsized ship. As the theme song played – ‘there’s got be a morning after’ – we all followed Sally, blinking, out into the glare of the cinema foyer.
I couldn’t speak.
For months after Sally’s birthday my nightmares were filled with burning bodies and mass drownings and waves that lurched up out of nowhere and swept me away. They still are.
Six months after the night I packed a suitcase and drove to Yoni’s house, I move out again and into my new home. The suburb where I lived with Tom now feels like a radiation exclusion zone for me. I have found a place across the river, on the other side of town. I throw a house-‐warming party, inviting all my friends and many of Tom’s relations, and give a speech. There is a long list (of course) of all the people to be thanked. I describe myself as a ship that has gone aground and tell them they have hauled me to safety. I reassure them I am safe now and they don’t need to worry about me any more. That is almost true and they seem happy to hear it. I drink more than three glasses of wine and don’t mind that most of my friends are too busy talking to each other to bother dancing. Talking is good. Silence has never suited me.
After I unpack all the cardboard boxes and set up my new home office, I plug my father’s name into an internet search engine. This is the second time I have tried googling Glen and, once again, three entries came up.
The first entry takes me to a list of the participants in National Music Camp, 1952,
including Glenthorne Prior – Cornet. There are other names on the list that I recognise: the first husband of my clarinet teacher; a trombonist who taught my step-‐brother to play; a double-‐bass player who was a close friend of my father’s. Names that conjure the smells of cork grease and bamboo reeds, of saliva dripping from tarnished brass bells, of rosin and lip balm and teenage sweat and dusty sheet music. How many of these people are still alive, I wonder, and of those, how many would remember Glen? What stories could they recall about him now and how many of them would be true?
The double-‐bass player had been in jazz bands with Glen and he and Margot had remained friends after my father’s death. I remember he once described how my father had struggled with the musical freedom that jazz offered, saying that Glen wasn’t ‘loose enough to let it swing’. It is a phrase that has sometimes snuck into my head when I have been feeling rigid with shyness.
The second Google listing takes me through to a website called ‘Find A Grave’. Glen’s name sits there quietly in the middle of the screen while pop-‐up ads for fee-‐free bank accounts and video software flash around it.
The third item on the Google list is a website address: Listphile.com
A website for lovers of lists. I click through, hoping there might have been a change since the last time I looked. But no – the same words appear.
World Shark Attack Database: Fatal Shark Attack, Prior. Description
Glenthorne Prior age 29 was fatally attacked on November 18th, 1964 while
swimming to rescue swimmers in trouble out at Fingal Beach, near Tweed Heads. Daily Mirror (Sydney), 11/19/1964 edition
Date of Attack November 18, 1964
Type of Shark Unknown
Survive No
Hands poised over the keyboard, my fingers begin to tingle with a familiar blood-‐rush. Not true. There was no shark. He drowned. They found his body, eventually. Washed up, days later, further down the coast. Intact, as far as I know.
There was no shark.
Someone made that up. Someone on the Daily Mirror (a journalist maybe, someone like me) decided the story of a father of three who drowned saving the lives of two young people while his wife watched from the shore wasn’t an interesting enough story. So they added a shark for dramatic impact. Then someone took that story and added it to their list of shark stories and now Google was spreading the lies.
There was no shark.
Why am I so angry? Because someone else has been careless with the truth?
‘You make monogamy a good place to be’, Tom said not long before the end of us. ‘I am true to you.’ Perhaps, in his mind, what Tom said was a version of the truth. A story he told himself until he was overtaken by ‘the pretendies’ and had to stop. Perhaps, all along, he had been trying to be something he wasn’t, as I had been with my teeth-‐gritted refusal to be a shy person.
Tom has just recorded a new collection of songs about a relationship break-‐up. In one of Tom’s songs the man desperately wants to sleep with someone new, but decides he won’t because he still loves the woman he’s with. Later in the narrative, the woman leaves the man anyway.
A sympathetic female reader might fall a little bit in love with the man who is left by the one he remains faithful to. Or even with that man’s creator. But only if she mistakes fiction for facts.
Sometimes the truth slips between the gaps in the stories we tell about ourselves. Sometimes we push it through the gaps ourselves so we can make better stories. Reshape the characters. Make them more interesting, more heroic, more lovable. More deserving of sympathy. Less likely to be rejected.