conditioning or moral drives (e.g., shame, guilt) of the self (Ting-Toomey and Oetzel, 2001: 36).
Pride and shame are two emotions which may indicate the salience of face to
a particular situation (Cocroft and Ting-Toomey, 1994). These are two primary emotions which can be treated as “a sign of the state of one’s social bond with others” (Scheff, 1990; see also Section 2.10.3.). Pride and shame are related to both self-face and other-face, because, as Scheff maintains, they communicate the state of one’s attitude both to the self and to the other. Shame is invariably related to situations in which face is threatened or lost: “One becomes painfully embarrassed and flustered when one ‘loses face’ in public” (Scheff, 1990: 170). Every human being feels the need for approval and inclusion, the need for pride and the need to prevent shame. Face is the locus of all these needs, and face-negotiation is one way to secure social bonds and satisfy these needs (Cocroft and Ting-Toomey, 1994). Even though pride, like face, exists in most cultures, it gets different interpretations. In individualistic cultures (see Section 4.3.2.), it is positively evaluated and associated with the positive feeling of self-satisfaction and success. In collectivistic cultures, it is negatively evaluated 146 Face as a folk concept
and treated “as a sign of arrogance and as failure to acknowledge the contributions of others” (Cross and Gore, 2003: 550). This can be explained by the great importance attached by members of collectivistic cultures to modesty, which is in opposition to pride.
Another value which is said to be related to the notion of face is dignity. It is an idea which organizes a certain type of evaluative thinking. But it is not so much an element of the collection of moral values as a superordinate idea for morality which determines the range of the community (Środa, 1993). Dignity is indispensable for an individual to feel well with himself as well as with others. So, as in the case of face, mutual dignity maintenance and the avoidance of affronts to other people’s dignity as well as dignified behaviour are a condition of interaction. Lebra (1976), who discusses dignity and disgrace, asserts that a balance between them is necessary for face maintenance. This balance can be achieved by employing certain supportive mechanisms, e.g., tact.
Tact is commonly understood as consideration in dealing with others.
According to Goffman, it is employed by participants of social interaction as a means of maintaining trust between them. He claims (1967: 30) that:
Tact in regard to face-work often relies for its operation on a tacit agreement to do business through the language of hint — the language of innuendo, ambiguities, well-placed pauses, carefully worded jokes, and so on. The rule regarding this unofficial kind of communication is that the sender ought not to act as if he had officially conveyed the message he has hinted at, while the recipients have the right and obligation to act as if they had not officially received the message contained in the hint.
Tactful behaviour is an indispensable element of face-oriented activity (facework, see Section 5.2.7.). It has many functions. Employing tact helps to sustain mutual confidence and respect (Giddens, 1988) as well as to avoid conflict situations (Leech, 1977). Such situations are always potentially threatening to participants’ face, so self- and other-awareness and intuition are indispensable in order for the interaction to be successful.
To live up to their face, people behave with dignity and in a tactful way, and show respect for others. Respect is identified with high opinion and esteem for a person. Manifesting respect for others we show admiration and consideration for them. Respectful behaviour is very important for face maintenance. Face operates along the continuum of respect and contempt (Penman, 1990). Showing respect we give face to others; treating them with contempt we threaten their face. To maintain good social relations with others, and thus avoid conflict in social interaction, we are oriented at the respect end.
Self-esteem, or “an attitude toward or an evaluation of oneself” (Cross and
Gore, 2003: 549), is not less relevant for the success of social interaction than
the display of our positive evaluation of others. The way we perceive ourselves has a great impact on the picture of ourselves we create in the eyes of others. Therefore self-esteem, which is an important element of one’s self-conception, is identified with face by many scholars (e.g., Hirshon, 2001; Spencer-Oatey 2000, 2003; Ruhi and Dogˇan, 2001). Like face, self-esteem depends on standards set up by cultural norms and culture-specific models of self. As such it differs across cultures.
Morisaki and Gudykunst (1994: 69) maintain that an individual’s self-esteem “is a combination of both personal and collective self-esteem.”
On the one hand, self-esteem is based on fitting in, being accepted, pleasing others, and gaining approval for meeting the expectations of others. On the other hand, self-esteem is based upon realizing one’s unique potentialities; being an individual in one’s own right; and having others recognize, respect, affirm, support, and encourage one’s personal talents and individual uniqueness. [...] A balance must be achieved between fitting in and being an individual in one’s own right (Josephs, 1991: 8—9).
The balance between the two types of self-esteem, however, differs across cultures; personal self-esteem prevails in individualistic cultures, while collective self-esteem prevails in collectivistic cultures. In cultures in which the independent model of self (see Section 4.3.3.) prevails, an individual has high self-esteem when he succeeds in being independent, autonomous and unique, when he can say, “I am special and different from others” (Cross and Gore, 2003: 549). In cultures in which the interdependent model of self prevails, an individual has a good attitude towards himself and evaluates himself highly when he behaves according to the social and moral standards operating in his culture, and he is in a good relationship and harmony with other people. In other words, he has high self-esteem when he can say, “I am similar to and in harmony with others” (Cross and Gore, 2003: 549).