Equidad en el proceso de atención

So far we have focused almost exclusively on the responsibilities of the husband. This is for at least two reasons: first, because the husband bears the greater responsibility since he is the head of the home, and second, because his responsibility is so widely misunderstood and therefore so rarely fulfilled.

The husband is the “head” of his wife; he is not her “boss.” Neither is he the “boss” of the home. This is where so many husbands misunderstand. It may be a narrow distinction, but Christ leads His Church, He does not rule His Church, as with a heavy iron fist. Christ rules His Kingdom, but He leadsHis Church. He loves and cherishes His Church, and His Church sub-mits to Him freely and willingly.

So what about the wife? What is her responsibility with regard to her husband? Consider again Paul’s instructions in Ephesians: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.… Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Eph. 5:22,24). How

does the Church submit to Christ, its Lord? Freely and willingly, out of love.

Those qualities should also characterize a wife’s submission to her husband.

Paul’s words in these verses constitute a command: “Wives, submit to your husbands.” Notice that this command is given to the wives, not to the husbands. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. Nowhere does Paul either command or give any authority to husbands to force their wives to submit. Forced submission is not true submission; it is subjugation.

Submission is always freely chosen and willingly given.

Even though submission is commanded for the wife, her compliance is voluntary. She has the right to choose. As far as her husband is fulfilling his responsibility and seeking to love her with the same kind of sacrificial, self-giving love with which Christ loved the Church, a wife has the responsibil-ity to submit to him “in everything.” If she fails to do so, she is accountable not so much to her husband as to the Lord. Her failure to be in submission to her husband’s headship is sin.

Forced submission is not true submission; it is subjugation.

A wife’s submission to a godly husband who strives to be like Jesus in his attitude and behavior toward her is not a demeaning or demoralizing act. Submission does not mean humiliation or abject subjection of a wife’s personality and will to the whim and will of her husband. A husband who acts like Jesus toward his wife will not subject her to this kind of treatment anyway.

Submission means that a wife acknowledges her husband’s headship as spiritual leader and guide for the family. It has nothing whatsoever to do with her denying or suppressing her will, her spirit, her intellect, her gifts, or her personality. To submit means to recognize, affirm, and support her husband’s God-given responsibility of overall family leadership. Biblical submission of a wife to her husband is a submission of position, not person-hood. It is the free and willing subordination of an equal to an equal for the sake of order, stability, and obedience to God’s design.

As a man, a husband will fulfill his destiny and his manhood as he exer-cises his headship in prayerful and humble submission to Christ and gives himself in sacrificial love to his wife. As a woman, a wife will realize her womanhood as she submits to her husband in honor of the Lord, receiving his love and accepting his leadership. When a proper relationship of mutual submission is present and active, a wife will be released and empowered to become the woman God always intended her to be.

Proper understanding and exercise of biblical submission by both the hus-band and wife are critical to the long-term success and happiness of any mar-riage. Without them, the couple will never realize their complete identity in Christ or release their full potential as human beings created in God’s image.

P R I N C I P L E S

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1. A husband deserves and has the right to expect submission and respect from his wife to the extent and degree that he lives and acts like Jesus toward her.

2. Sin is the flaw that prevents husbands from measuring up to Jesus’ example.

3. Within the overall context of loving his wife, a husband’s first and primary role is to be the spiritual head and covering and teacher in the home.

4. Husbands must win their wives’ submission by making them-selves worthy of it. They do this by learning to love their wives in the way that Christ loves His Church.

5. Submission is never forced from without. Submission is freely chosen and willingly given.

6. As far as her husband is fulfilling his responsibility and seeking to love her with the same kind of sacrificial, self-giving love with which Christ loved the Church, a wife has the responsibility to submit to him “in everything.”

7. Biblical submission of a wife to her husband is a submission of position, not personhood. It is the free and willing subordination of an equal to an equal for the sake of order, stability, and obedi-ence to God’s design.