Explicación cognitiva de la percepción

Jesus wanted His friends to know all of this in advance so that when these things took place they would be prepared. “All this I have told you so that you will not go astray….I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember that I warned you” (Jn. 16:1,4a). He did not want them to be taken by surprise.

This illustrates an important truth: Friends are open and honest with each other. Nowhere is this principle more important than in a marriage rela-tionship. One of the big problems in many marriages is that the husband and

wife have trouble relating to each other as friends. They are more like “ser-vants” than friends, more like brother and sister than husband and wife.

Opening up to each other is just as difficult as opening up to family or to casual acquaintances. Most people do not share their inmost selves with their parents or siblings. They do not speak candidly about their highest dreams or their deepest fears, their greatest virtues or their worst flaws.

They will, however, reveal these things to their friends. Friendship between a husband and wife, with its characteristic honesty and openness, is absolutely essential for a happy, successful, and thriving marriage.

Most couples enter married life without having told each other every-thing about themselves. In some ways this is to be expected. It is impossible at the beginning to be completely open and candid because some things will come out only as the relationship grows over time. Nevertheless, a couple should know as much as possible about each other—good and bad—before they stand together at the marriage altar.

The period of courtship and engagement is very valuable for this pur-pose. Too often, however, the man and woman will focus all their attention on always being on their best behavior for the other, careful to reveal only their good side. Out of fear of jeopardizing the budding relationship they will tiptoe around problems and avoid any mention of annoying habits or idiosyncrasies they may observe in each other. Unless they learn to be hon-est with each other at this stage of their relationship, they are in for a rude awakening later when, after they get married, these things inevitably come to light.

A couple should know as much as possible about each other—good and bad—before they stand together at the marriage altar.

For example, if John has a problem with his temper, he should be honest with Sarah about it, and sooner rather than later. “I really struggle with my temper. I fly off the handle easily. The Lord is working with me about it, but I still have a long way to go. I just wanted to tell you so that whenever my temper flares up you will forgive me and not take it personally.” This way, Sarah will not be caught completely off guard the first time John spouts off.

Sarah may struggle with feelings of jealousy or tend to be hypercritical of other people. If she is up-front and aboveboard with John about this they can waylay any misunderstanding before it starts. Together they can work on their problems and help each other grow through them and beyond them.

Obviously, any couple must feel comfortable together if this kind of hon-esty is to develop. Creating such a relaxed atmosphere depends a great deal on mutual respect and trust. While both of these qualities grow out of love, they also feed and nourish it. In the Bible, friendship and love are closely linked. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity”

(Prov. 17:17). “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24). “His mouth is sweet-ness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daugh-ters of Jerusalem” (Song 5:16).

Marriage is the highest of all human relationships and friendship is the highest level of that relationship. Every married couple should set their sights on rising to that level and never rest until they attain it. Even then they should not stop growing. True friendship has a breadth and a depth that no amount of time or growth can ever exhaust.

Marriage is the highest of all human relationships and friendship is the highest level of that relationship.

Friendship is the catalyst that ultimately will fuse a husband and wife into one like a precious gem. Marriage is an earthly, fleshly picture of the relationship in the spiritual realm between not only God the Father, God the Son—who is Jesus Christ—and God the Holy Spirit, but also between God and the race of mankind whom He created. Friendship characterizes the perfect unity and intimacy that exists among Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and was also the nature of the relationship that Adam and Eve enjoyed with God and with each other in the Garden of Eden.

God’s desire is to restore the friendship relationship between Himself and humanity that sin destroyed. The modern world desperately needs to see a clear and honest picture of what friendship with God is like. No earthly rela-tionship comes as close to that picture as marriage, and a marriage where the husband and wife are truly friends comes closest of all.

Despite the attacks and challenges of modern society, the institution of marriage will last as long as human life on earth remains. God ordained and established marriage and it will endure until He brings all things in the physical realm to their close. No matter how much social and moral attitudes may change, marriage will remain, rock-solid as always, the best idea in human relationships ever to come down the pike, because it is God’s idea.

Marriage is still a great idea!

P R I N C I P L E S

K

1. A husband and wife should be each other’s best friend. There is no higher relationship.

2. True friendship transcends and rises above even the ties of family relationships.

3. Openness and transparency are marks of true friendship.

4. Friends are open and honest with each other.

5. Friendship between a husband and wife, with its characteristic hon-esty and openness, is absolutely essential for a happy, successful, and thriving marriage.

6. Friendship is the catalyst that ultimately will fuse a husband and wife into one like a precious gem.