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Kith and kin to self-rejection is a craving for approval. Everyone needs to feel approved and accepted. Those who cannot approve of themselves seek approval from others. The real danger here is that the approval that the world gives is empty and unfulfilling. Only that approval which comes from God nourishes and satisfies. It is God’s approval we need, not man’s.

In Second Corinthians 10:17-18, Paul writes, “But, ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.’ For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.” All who are believers, God has already approved; we do not need anyone else’s approval. God has already commended us. To commend means to speak highly of. God speaks highly of His people, even if others speak low of them. Next to salvation itself, the truth that we are approved by God is probably the greatest revelation in the Bible.

Ultimately, seeking approval from the world is a vain pursuit, espe-cially for believers. God’s Word actually promises that the opposite will occur. All who bear the name of Jesus and seek to live in obedience to Him are guaranteed to experience persecution from a world that is hos-tile to His name. As Paul wrote to Timothy, his young protégé in the ministry, “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” (2 Tim. 3:12).

In the final analysis, the world’s approval means nothing. The way to true blessedness and joy is through obedience and identification with God in Jesus Christ. Jesus Himself made this plain when He said:

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matthew 5:10-12).

There are a lot of people who spend their lives living for the approval of others. Too many believers are caught up in looking for

“fans,” too worried about what others think of them. We are not to be so concerned about who approves or disapproves of us, but remember that God’s approval is what counts. Those whom God approves are approved indeed. Jesus warned, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Mt. 10:28).

We are not to be so concerned about who approves or disap-proves of us, but remember that God’s approval is what counts.

Approval seekers get caught up easily in the “gang mentality,” whose favorite word is “let’s”: “Let’s do this,” and “Let’s do that.” Anyone who is in “let’s” has no personal identity anymore. Those who constantly seek other people’s approval have no mind of their own. They do not control themselves from within, but are controlled and manipulated from with-out, by the very people they are trying so hard to please. Their desire to be liked causes them to surrender their will and self-determination.

Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” In other words, if we do not control our own lives from the inside, somebody else will control them from the outside.

The vain pursuit of the world’s approval is like the story of two cats, one big and the other little. A big cat saw a little cat chasing its tail and asked, “Why are you chasing your tail so much?”

Said the kitten, “I have learned that the best thing for a cat is happi-ness, and that happiness is my tail; therefore I am chasing it. When I catch it, I shall have happiness.”

Said the old cat to the kitten, “My son, I too have paid attention to the problems of the universe. I too have judged that happiness is my tail, but I have noticed that whenever I chase after it, it keeps running

away from me, and when I go about my business without chasing it, it seems to chase me.”

My point is this: The most well-liked people are those who don’t run around trying to be liked, but who simply relax and concentrate on being themselves. If we have God’s approval, we have all the approval we will ever need. Filled with His love, we have the capacity to love Him back, and to love ourselves as well. Winning the approval of other people is no longer of such great importance.

God’s love sets us free from the need to seek approval. Knowing that we are loved by God, accepted by God, approved by God, and that we are new creations in Christ empowers us to reject self-rejection and embrace a healthy self-love. Being secure in God’s love for us, our love for Him, and our love for ourselves, prepares us to fulfill the second greatest commandment: To love our neighbor as ourselves.

P R I N C I P L E S

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1. We should love ourselves, not in a conceited manner, but simply by accepting for ourselves the value that God Himself places on us.

2. We are completely and absolutely accepted by God.

3. We are new creations in Christ, loved, accepted, and precious in His sight.

4. When we become believers, we become new creations in Christ, recreated in His image. The image of Christ in us will never change.

5. All who are believers, God has already approved; we do not need anyone else’s approval.

6. If we have God’s approval, we have all the approval we will ever need.