ETAPA V: CONTROL DE MEJORAS

Not only are women kept in the same area as their ex-partner and burdened with responsibility, but they can also be the target of negative judgements. In her experience with clients, Emily mentioned that:

There've been really...sweeping statements made about the women that you can't imagine you would make, like this woman has a come hither voice on her answering machine, and that she's got big breasts, and wears low cut tops...and that goes into the report, and that’s what goes to the judge… you get the impression that they're really anti-women.

These judgments can stem from psychologists, who form a major part of the Family Court process. Emily said that “with a couple of these psychologists it was like they're actually are anti-women…they have an anti-women stance, which probably is not that they're being taken in by the guys but that they've already got this...thing going on”. So Emily explains that “woman expect not to believe, to be believed because that's what they've been told. You know, nobody will believe you, you're nothing. So it is what they often expect when they come to us and they're pretty shocked when we go wow that's terrible, we really believe you”. These judgements can be made throughout the court process, and add to a woman’s burden as she struggles with what is happening:

I think sometimes women might be viewed as being difficult, keeping the children from the father as a punishment, umm perhaps being a bit mad. As I heard one particular lawyer for child putting it, sort of, he said you know these mad women just want to make things difficult. But um I think perhaps the

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women are given the certain view over the domestic violence, of being a bit difficult and causing difficulties, and that's when they can get almost told off by the judge. Like women have been threatened by the judge before in terms of umm if you if you continue to you know counter this court process and counter these visits with the father, you are at risk of losing your children. I can put them in his care permanently. The women have been told like that.

Susan additionally reported experiences where she felt women were being judged, particularly by psychologists, stating she was particularly horrified in one case where the psychologist judged her client “based on her sexuality”. In her report, she noted the “woman had a husky...alluring type of voice on her answerphone”. Susan remarked on how the psychologist also focused on how her client was dressed and “took a really biased view and put some kind of sexual connotation on the way she looked”.

When asked whether there was the same focus on the male’s aspects, Susan responded “no, no none at all, which was interesting because I actually thought this male was possibly a little bit of an um philanderer”. So the psychologist was

“completely taken in by him and a lot of the views repeated in the report were pretty much his views…and had all been focused on the supposed shortcomings of this woman”. Susan seemed to really struggle with how these judgements and statements could be made in a psychological assessment, and the bias that occurs:

She talked about um the woman being, something like curvaceous and

alluring… it [the psychological assessment] doesn't go into the male’s physical attributes. So it was just a real focus and I didn't really understand what it was there for, yeah. I mean I think I would understand if it said she dressed tidy

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maybe, if you’re trying to give the presentation of the woman, maybe that she dressed tidy, or maybe she was untidy and looking stressed and tired.

With these particular cases, Susan said she was “just so shocked and confused. And the women were really upset too by it, and confused”. These judgements have also extended to the mother’s “decision to work full-time”, as well as having a “new partner after she had separated from the previous partner”. Lack of education and understanding can aggravate judgements made about these women. Jane made a particular note of this:

So you know people, when you do community education stuff, people you know bring up that stuff about why don't they leave, and actually a more interesting conversation is why would you leave. Like so you’re saying she's experiencing violence and it’s unsafe, and people are especially judgmental if you have children, why don't you leave, how can you subject your children to this. And if you stack up all of the layers of the violence, of the abuse, especially the

psychological and spiritual and whanau violence, and you put all that up there, how can she leave. Like if she leaves, what happens? It's like juggling, like if you drop, you know you just got to keep going. Because if you stop or you drop something, you know what's going to happen, the whole thing's just going to fall apart. It's interesting. And I don't think the court deals with that very well.

She said “believe her. Because you might be the first person who’s believed her, or the first person she’s been brave enough to share this with”.