Integridad

N i t r i c A c i d u m

REMEDY DESCRIPTION

Nitric Acid is naturally mild mannered, timid and reserved. She may be secretive and sentimental, and often has good ability for philosophy. Her self confidence isn’t very strong, but this is a common trait in all the mild mannered types. Nitric Acid is a remedy of the Cancer miasm, which is reflected in her tendency for wanting perfection. She is conscientious about little things and is known to have fixed ideas about how things have to be done.

Nitric Acid can be very affectionate, cheerful and vivacious in her expres-sion. Her sexual desire is usually high, and she may freely enjoy her relation-ships with men without any moral restrictions holding her back. She is usually friendly and sympathetic towards others; however, her sympathy is a very conditional kind of sympathy. It only applies to friends who have proven, be-yond a doubt, that they are also supportive and loyal towards her. If her friends aren’t as supportive towards her as she would like them to be, her sympathy can easily turn into a state of anger or maliciousness. You may find it odd, that someone, who is naturally mild-mannered, affectionate and sympathetic, can all of a sudden become the exact opposite, but Nitric Acid has good reasons for her somewhat unusual behavior.

Before we look deeper into why Nitric Acid does what she does, we first have to understand how sensitive she is to all kinds of external impressions.

She is strongly affected by pain, as well as sensual, mental or emotional impres-sions. Horrible things and sad stories affect her profoundly, and she is also extra sensitive during heat and before her period.

Noise is another thing that really bothers Nitric Acid. This includes bark-ing dogs, shrill sounds, voices, and especially male voices. Even music can sound like noise to her, and she may develop an aversion to it. If it were up to Nitric Acid, she would probably want to live in absolute silence if she could. This makes it hard for her to be around other people, since partners or housemates

aren’t normally quiet enough for her. Maybe Nitric Acid should seriously con-sider a library job or a cabin in the mountains!

Obviously, Nitric Acid is a bit “on edge.” She is very nervous and startles easily from any noise, especially when she is asleep, or about to fall asleep. To understand why Nitric Acid is feeling so nervous, we have to look at some of the delusions that go with the remedy. Three of the most unusual delusions associ-ated with Nitric Acid are: Things may seem longer than they are, or small things may seem to grow smaller, or tall things seem to grow taller. These three delusions indicate that Nitric Acid’s perception of reality can be somewhat distorted. It can also mean that her imagination may play tricks with her, especially at night. She often feels apprehension and dread of being alone, and she may fear both evil and death. Any little thing can make her jump, noise, thunder, even touch. She is also fearful when waking up, possibly because she always has a very strong sense of impending danger.

The delusions and scary visions bother her mostly at night. She may have frightful or horrible visions appearing and disappearing. There may be phan-toms, ghosts or specters, or she may see actual figures. She envisions herself surrounded by strangers. She must have offended someone, because it seems like she is about to be engaged in a lawsuit. She feels fearful about being in-volved in a legal process because she is afraid she may have offended some very dangerous people, possibly criminals, and now she will be punished. She can hear their voices and she starts running. She knows that they are coming after her, and that they are most likely intending to kill her. She can already see other dead people, as she is trying to escape. In other words, she is in grave danger, and her life depends upon her ability to either escape or fight off the upcoming danger.

This is the core situation that goes with Nitric Acid. The lawsuit issue also explains why Nitric Acid tends to see things in a very “black and white”

way. It is very important for her to know which side you are on. Either you are with her, or you are against her! Either you are her friend, or you are her en-emy, and this issue has to be established very clearly. If you are her friend, she’ll be very sympathetic and friendly towards you, but if you are her enemy, she’ll treat you with a very unforgiving, harsh attitude because there is a very real possibility that you, too, might put her life in danger. From this point of view, we can understand that her harsh and unforgiving manner is simply a survival mechanism. She is reacting to the life threatening original situation, which she is still playing out in her present life, by trying to ward off the im-pending or imagined danger to the best of her ability.

No wonder Nitric Acid is on edge! Sometimes she feels so anxious that it drives her out of bed, and she doesn’t like being alone because she feels weak and defenseless. The anxiety is always worse at night and often comes in

parox-ysms. Thinking about it also makes it worse. She may feel anxious about the future or about her health, and if she is away from her family, you can expect her to feel homesick, too.

Nitric Acid has a tendency to always look at the gloomy side of things. If there aren’t any actual signs of physical danger in her life, maybe the danger she is sensing could be from an impending disease! She may feel like she is seriously sick, even though there are no visible signs of any sickness. The dis-ease, which she is about to come down with, is probably incurable, most likely some kind of cancer, and she doubts that anyone can actually help her recover.

In other words, her state is pretty hopeless. (This state of hopelessness and desperation is typical for the cancer miasm). Her anxiety is usually worse during a thunderstorm, especially if the thunder is loud. Sometimes, she just has to hop in her car and drive away, since driving usually makes her feel much better.

Nitric Acid’s constant sense of danger also affects how she relates to oth-ers. She often suffers from suspiciousness and lack of trust, always wondering if someone is going to take advantage of her or hurt her in some way. Because she is always on guard, she is easily offended and tends to take things the wrong way. She becomes very emotionally involved during debates, even when it is about trifles. Although she is strongly affected by arguments and discords, she still can’t stop herself from getting involved.

As I mentioned earlier, Nitric Acid is a remedy from the Cancer miasm, which is reflected in her tendency for perfectionism. In Nitric Acid, the need for perfectionism actually represents survival to her. She only feels safe if every-thing is exactly so. If anyevery-thing goes wrong or is out of place, or out of order, she becomes anxious, discontented, displeased and dissatisfied (similar to Arseni-cum). This is why she often becomes very controlling in her relationships to others. Her discontent can affect any area of her life, and she may, in extreme cases, feel discontented with everything. If that is the case, she complains a lot and feels very sorry for herself. She may also suffer from greed, envy or hatred towards anyone who has more than she does, and she may feel very unfortu-nate.

In this state, she may become both cynical and unsympathetic. Her moods can be repulsive, and she may come across as rough, abusive, insulting and rude. She may slander the people she is feeling upset with, and her con-stant complaints may become a drain on her friends. The problem is that as soon as she feels that someone has overstepped her invisible line between friendship and enmity, it triggers a side of her personality that basically brings out her worst qualities. From being sympathetic, affectionate and mild man-nered, she suddenly becomes obstinate, rebellious and contemptuous. She

doesn’t want to do anything she is asked to do, and she often becomes quarrel-some and dictatorial in an effort to get her needs and desires met. She does this in an attempt to make herself feel safe again, but if her arguing and stubborn-ness doesn’t work, she can also become very angry. She’ll either blame herself, or she’ll become furiously or violently angry with someone else, even when the anger is caused by something insignificant. Any small sign of contradiction may trigger her wrath. She trembles inside while she is shrieking, screaming and shouting, or she may become spiteful and vindictive, cursing and swearing in her rage. In extreme cases she may even feel a desire to bite.

In some cases, Nitric Acid can also become both hard hearted and cruel.

To understand why she doesn’t seem to have much compassion towards others, we have to remember what she is trying to escape from, or fight off. She has a strong sense of impending danger that she has to avoid or overcome, no matter what it takes, because in the original story her life depends on it. If she per-ceives this danger as a threat to her life, it is easy to understand why her behav-ior often becomes somewhat extreme; it is because she is basically fighting for her life!

If her attempts to express how she feels doesn’t give her what she wants, she often ends up embittered and exasperated. In this state, she can develop aversion to certain persons, and may even feel hatred for whoever has offended her. It doesn’t matter if the person who offended her was a friend, stranger or family member. The hatred she feels is usually strong enough that she will cut off her connection to that person, possibly for the rest of her life, regardless of whether he is a family member or not.

Nitric Acid is known for being unmoved by apologies, and she may even consider revenge. Again, we have to remember that Nitric Acid can’t tolerate any mistakes from anyone, because one mistake was all it took to put her life in danger in the original situation. Therefore, her tendency to be unforgiving also has to be seen as a survival mechanism. Unfortunately, she may lose her friends as a result, and if that happens, she can easily become very depressed. She may feel remorse or blame herself for what happened, even though she doesn’t really want to do anything about it. Her grief is very deep, and she often finds it very hard to get over the loss.

In this state of grief, she may find herself in a weeping, tearful mood, or there may be cheerfulness alternating with sadness. She may want company because she really doesn’t like being alone, but she doesn’t necessarily feel better if anyone feels sorry for her, either. She may experience persistent, disagreeable thoughts that are tormenting her and keeping her in a miserable state. Because it is difficult for her to let go, she tends to dwell on past, dis-agreeable occurrences more than she should. The more she thinks about an issue, the worse it normally feels. Nitric Acid often struggles with a sense of

stuckness in her life, similar to Natrum Muriaticum. (Fixed ideas and a sense of stuckness are typical for all the metal remedies). Her gloomy outlook can also affect her ability to concentrate. She may feel confused, or have a vacant feeling inside. Mental exertion makes her confusion worse. She may even become so dull and sluggish that she has difficulty thinking and understanding. This kind of “brain-fag” also affects her memory and makes it hard for her to remember things.

When she is not happy, Nitric Acid sometimes prefers aloneness. She may become so indisposed to talking that she just wants to remain silent. She doesn’t even like to hear the voices of others talking, even in the next room. If someone tries to speak to her, she can become very irritable, especially in the morning after waking up, or in the afternoon.

Nitric Acid doesn’t like being so miserable. Although she wants to escape from her misery, she often can’t see any acceptable solutions because her per-ception of reality is too rigid. Out of her sense of stuckness arises a strong internal restlessness, especially after midnight. Her restlessness makes it hard for her to sleep, and sometimes she even talks in her sleep. In the daytime, she may feel an unexplainable impatience and an urge to hurry, which can cause her to become manic or even hysterical at times.

If she can’t escape from her misery, she may eventually give up, resign herself, and sink into a state of indifference instead. In this state she can be-come apathetic towards everything, even towards her own family. Her indiffer-ence is totally joyless, and she often sighs deeply while suffering from a level of indecision that keeps her in a state where she is totally unable to change any-thing in her life. To describe this state I would call it “paralyzing indecision.” At this point, her life may become so meaningless that she doesn’t even want to go to work. She becomes lazy and starts loathing her life, and at some point, she may even wish she were dead. Although she may become totally suicidal even-tually, there is still very little chance that she will act upon any of her suicidal impulses. Her indecision will most likely hold her back, as well as her fear of death and general lack of courage.