D6-T18 Step three in the Speed Seduction® process "direct the conversation and ramp interest. "
Well, this is where a lot of the work is going to be done—if you want to consider it work, you can—but I think this is where a lot of the wonderful things of Speed Seduction® can really happen. This is the part where you are really using the languaging and where you are really appealing to the parts of her that are really monitoring what kind of person you are, what she wants, what's going to interest her and what is going to excite her. This is a part where a lot of the magical stuff happens. So we are going to spend a little bit more time on this and we are going to get into some detail. I'll talk later about this in the overall context, but let us look at step three "direct conversation and ramp interest.
Now, after getting through the earlier steps that we had talked about, you have got her attention. She is talking to you. But you want to find a way to get across to her subconscious that you are the kind of guy that she would like to be with. Now, you may, or you have presumably have passed some initial
screening, maybe she has thought of you in a certain way, just due to the way that you look, or whatever, but what you want to do here is you want to find a way to appeal to the part of her that is really making
the decision, so that she decides that you are the kind of guy that she wants to be with.
Now, what part of her is really making the decision guys? It is her subconscious. And it's those other magical parts of her, not necessarily the parts that are looking at you in terms of facts and figures and data and numbers and things like that. Ok?
Now, let us be realistic here. Yes, even at this stage, the facts and figures and the conscious mind is
definitely an aspect of the interaction, because we have to have a social component to what we are
doing. We are talking, we are having a conversation. You have to be able to continue a conversation and have a conversation with a woman for some period of time for all these steps to work. And even at this step, you know what? The numbers, the data, the information, the process by which the conscious mind is screening for potential guys, those things are a factor here, even at step three, and something that you must address. I mean, yeah, it's going to be a little easier for you if you are better looking or its going to be a little easier for you if you are more close to her typical "type". However, even if those things are not in your favor, with the correct application of the skills, you can overcome those things. Ok? You can really be the kind of guy that she is really looking for—that her subconscious is really looking for.
D6-T19 Now, remember what we talked about in the early steps, when we talked about the structure
of a woman's mind—or of anybody's mind for that matter—what were we speaking of? We were
speaking of what the subconscious is looking for. What it the subconscious looking for is looking for safety and security. It has a herd mentality it's evaluating things on multiple levels—remember we talked about that, ok? It is doing parallel processing. It is looking at various means of assessing who you are, like all of her senses are tuned in she is watching, listening, learning. Ok? All of the senses are tuned in, OK? So that is what you want to be aware of in step three.
Now we have to find a way to get her subconscious to like you. Now that sounds familiar, doesn't it? That is why a rapport is such a big issue at this point, because her subconscious is going to be more open. She is going to be more receptive to what you have to say, and how you are saying it, and to
where you want to lead her if you have good rapport. Because remember, rapport in my definition, is Page 112
that ability of her subconscious to know that you are kind of an "ally" that you're subconscious and her subconscious have sort of an "agreement" if you will, and she recognizes that you are to some extent, similar to her. Ok? There is nothing to fear. It is the opposite of fear, you are an ally, she is comfortable. There's rapport.
So that is very important that you have that at this stage. Ok again, there are a lot of great rapport tools out there, and I'm not going to get into detail about all of them here. But we want to find a way to get her
subconscious to look at you in a certain way. Now...
D6-T20 There is kind of four main ways to do that. And what I mean is, we are basically trying to find a way to reach into her subconscious (for lack of a better word) and to find ways to have her subconscious look at you in a positive fashion, and it basically comes down to four different main areas that we can use. Ok? Four different main approaches here in step three, and when I say this, what I mean by approaches is this,...
Her subconscious has certain things that it's looking for, certain structures that it's looking for, things that will appeal to it. They could be certain roles that are appealing, it could be certain things about her environment that make her feel safe, that make her feel excited. It could be certain things in terms of what she is looking for... You being similar to other people she knows, the differences between you and other people she knows, maybe certain languaging she is looking for... All these things I am listing right now they are all aspects of her subconscious. Remember, we did the mind map before? If you look at that mind map now, you will see the what we're doing is trying to look at the way the subconscious
views things, and with the knowledge of that, we have to direct those means of assessment in your favor.
Meaning, knowing that she looks at things in terms of symbols, you're going to find a way for you to
symbolize something good. Knowing that roles are important to the subconscious, you want to find a
way for you to be in a good role. Make sense? That's really what we are doing a lot here with step three,
and with step three basically, there are several distinct ways to approach it.
D6-T21 Now what I've done with step three here i s . . . I've broken it down into four main ways, and again as typical, I'm going to just go through them quickly and just summarize them, and that we are going to go into each in detail. So let's go, and again, this is a time for you to look at your workbook and
to write these things down and take notes for yourself because I want you to be involved in this process.
Ok?
So in step three, what are these different options that we have?
The first is "create". You are creating things that her subconscious.
The second is "assume", what is in her subconscious, assume something is already there and you are just going to use it. Make sense?
The third option is to "utilize" what is that her subconscious. To find something that's there and you are going to use in your favor.
The fourth option is to "remap" things that are in her subconscious already. Find something that's there
that might work in your favor and remap it, reroute it, in a way that's going to work for you.
Now those of the four main options we have here in step three. Let us talk about each one in particular.
D6-T22 Now, the first option we have like I said was to create things in her subconscious. Now, this is what a lot of guys think they are going to do. They think that from scratch their going to go and, you know, talk to a woman and create all of the structures that the woman needs, or create all of the means
by which the woman is going to like you from scratch. Sounds interesting, doesn't it? It's a lot of work,
ok, and this tends to be what happens if you find somebody (you know)... Sometimes you will find someone and you may be using really persuasive languaging and using a lot of even prewritten patterns, and they're just like a sponge, they're soaking it all up. It may seem appealing in one way, but the bottom line i s . . . There's nothing there.
Let us put it this way. They have very little in their subconscious that you can work with, again,... Think about it in terms of... Remember the mind map, and what the subconscious has in it? Think about creating this stuff. Meaning, there is no roles in there that she could really use, Ok? There is none of the structures that we talked about before that you are going to be able to use in your favor. Okay? There's no symbols in there that you can use and work with. In terms of comparing you, the similarities
and differences between you and other people,... There is nothing there to really work with. All right?
So, because of that, it's a lot of work. You have to create things absolutely from scratch and then direct them in the way that you wish. Now you could do that by appealing to her most basic, basic, basic instincts. Now I do not want to get into a big discussion of this here, because it's almost unreasonable to try this approach. This is what happens when you have got somebody that is really not too smart (to put it as positively as I can), Ok? In this case, you have to go in there and do so much work, and put in so much effort that it's really not worth it. Leave that person for someone else. Ok?
And, one of the dangers is, if you create the very things in their subconscious—if you have to create roles, create symbols, create these means of comparison, create processes in their mind, create all of the languaging and everything in her mind —if you have to create all that stuff, then you become the
embodiment of all that stuff. You are those things. You become the role, the symbol, the thing to which
all other things are compared in these subjects. That's kind of scary, because now you are the way that
she becomes fulfilled in this area of her life, and that's a scary thing. That is a lot of responsibility, and I'm pretty sure that a lot of you are just not ready to accept it. Ok?
So that first option, "create things in her subconscious to work with"... god, that's a lot of work guys, and I really do not recommend that and if you find somebody who... were you think it is the only real approach, there is really nothing there to work with, I suggest you move on.
D6-T23 See... What we are talking about here in this step three, really, is finding a way to talk to them conversationally, and what you are doing is you you've got to find something there that you can work with. You've got to find something in her subconscious—really that is what we are talking about—that you are going to appeal to. You can either be who you are and what you are, and it just turns out that there are just things in her that respond to you, that is great. You know if that works in your favor, go for it, because there are things at her subconscious that you will be able to use and utilize. If you find a way to do that, that is a great approach to work with.
The challenge here is finding a way to conversationally to do this and this is where, you talk about
subjects with some depth. You talk about subjects that deal with (you know)... What are people like?
What do you like to do? What do you find interesting? What you think is the difference between men and women? How you look at the way that men and women communicate? What do you like about your past relationships? What do you find really interesting? What you find really exciting? See?
When you ask questions like these... When you talk about subjects like these in step three, or in any step of this process,... What you are listening for is information. What does she like, what's her
subconscious telling you, what's her mind telling you about what appeals to her, what really fascinates
her? And again, she might be telling you about what she enjoys doing, what is exciting, and you are sitting you are thinking, "What roles is she talking about here, what are the processes in her
subconscious that I can work with ". That is the way you are listening.
Now, it is not as clinical as, well, "she is talking about skydiving and I'm listing for the internal processes... ", no it is not that clinical. She is talking about skydiving for example, and saying it is "so exciting, the way it makes you feel, and it's so energetic and I feel like I'm doing something wild that I've always wanted to do"... Well, those descriptions are things in her subconscious. She is talking to
So you are assuming something's there, you can talk about it, hopefully you get a "hit"— meaning, you assume it's there and hopefully it is—and then, if it is there, you can evoke it by using all of the SS tools that we have talked about. Then you map it back to you, and link it to you by pointing to yourself and using some of the linkage phrases—you know, "now with me", things like that—and then basically what you are doing in step three is that you are directing the conversation in that way, and you are ramping interest. She starts to associate you with connections, she starts to associate you with being excited, or
anticipation,... see how that works? That's how this works.
D6-T26 All right? Now, "assuming" is a good way to go, and it is a good way to learn about women, and good way to learn the tools and to learn the processes that we are talking about. It can work in the field. It has it's limits because every person, every woman, is unique. Every woman has unique structures in her mind, and so it's good to have a little bit more flexibility, but you know, assuming
things is good because it gives you material to work with.
Hey, if you find what are the eight or ten most common themes or what are the most common things that women tend to want to talk about, and connect to, if you have a way to talk about those subjects, if you
learn about those subjects, if you find yourself being interested in those subjects, and you can converse on them, great. Because, look...
If you pick six or eight subjects that women are familiar with and interested in... Learn about them, find ways to talk about them, riff on them, be able to come up with SS languaging about them, well you know it won't be a bad approach to assume that (you know) with some reasonable women that they are going to have at least some of those things appeal to them. Then you can talk to them about them. Then you've got material to work with ok? So that is what I'm talking about with assume. You are assuming that the things are there. It's great for practicing it's great for learning, and it is going to actually get you set up for a lot more effectiveness in the field and a lot more success in applying this material.
D6-T27 Now the third option here, we're on step three, again, directing the conversation and ramping interest. Now the third option is to "utilize" what is in her subconscious.
Now this is similar to assume in what we are doing i s . . . You are talking to somebody—this does involve talking to them, remember. You're going to talk to a woman. You are going to spend time with her. You are going to have discussions about, what does she like, what does she not like. What is she interested in? How does it make her feel? Why does that matter to her? Ok?
What are you doing? You are asking her questions. You are finding out about who she is. You are listening to how she responds. You are listening to the words she uses. Why? Because we want to find out what matters to her. What are the roles that mean something to her how the she compare and
contrast things in her mind. Ok. What are the structures that are in her mind that mean something to her. Ok? Again, does that sound familiar? Remember, you know... back...
I'm flipping through my pages here too to follow along with you because I want you to do that, ok? You need to go back and look at those tools that are in the hierarchy. Ok? And you need to look at the map of the mind... What we are talking about here, because you want to have that discussion with her where you find out is what is in her subconscious and then you utilize it.
See back with assuming, we sort of had some blind assumptions about what is in there. What is she like, what roles appeal to her, what she has to have to feel safe and excited, or anticipate things. Fine.
In utilizing what you are doing here in this option is your going to talk to her, ask her questions, find out what's there and utilize it. So if you find out for her that what makes her feel really excited is taking