Contextos institucionales y Cambio organizativo

This section of the thesis is concerned with the process of change and the content of the personal communities of the older widows during transition. The emotional aspects and meanings of relationships with family, friends and others are located through thematic analysis of the women’s discussion of their

Christmas celebrations and their Christmas cards during the second and third interviews.

Chapter 6: Continuity, social relations and autonomy, and Chapter 7: Discontinuity, change and mediation, build on the findings of the previous section and address the original research questions: Are certain types of personal

community more helpful than others during the change process? Does a longitudinal design reveal change in personal communities and social convoys during widowhood? Do multiple methods give a more detailed account of personal relationships during the change process? And what impact does later life

widowhood have on family practices?

In addition, this section addresses the further research questions identified at the end of the previous chapter: Does the content of the women’s personal communities correspond with the structure of their social ties? And what does the continuity and discontinuity of social relationships tell us about managingchange?

Chapter 6: Continuity, social relations and autonomy

Introduction

This chapter locates process and meaning in relation to the older widows’ experiences of their transition and personal communities in everyday life, and in particular, continuity. Continuity includes looking back at the past, but also taking part of the past forward into the future. Different aspects of continuity are situated in three over-arching themes. First, ‘Family, intergenerational ties and tradition’ encompasses the positive aspects of family relationships, including the

reinforcement of ties through family practices, established roles and lineage. However, this theme also demonstrates the negative aspects of kinship during transition, including family friction and relationship strain. Second, ‘Friendships, organisational ties and reciprocity’ illustrates the various characteristics of friendship, the cyclical reinforcement and maintenance of associations, ties with the wider community, and continuing to make a positive contribution to personal communities. Finally, ‘Personal continuity and activation’ demonstrates the permanence of self in later life widowhood, including personal independence, approaches developed over the life course, and the maintenance of a constant identity. However, this theme also illustrates the dependence of some of the older widows which limits their ability to move on.

The Christmas period itself is a cyclical time when memories of the past are stimulated and thoughts of the future are generated with the coming of a New Year. Christmas may be viewed as a routine occasion, like birthdays and anniversaries, in that it takes place annually. However, many of the women’s experiences illustrate that it is also a useful reference point, or marker for locating process in a wider sense as it evokes thoughts of the past, present and future.

Megan, for example, spoke for many of the women during the early days of

widowhood, as she talked about special days as being a particular time for looking back and remembering: ‘Many times of course there’s Christmas time and

birthdays, things like that, but apart from that I think I’ve done reasonably well’. In Marilyn’s discussion during the early days she also reflected on meaningful personal as well as cultural celebrations as being significant, having lived in Scotland with her husband for part of her married life: ‘But some days are harder, like today would have been his birthday, it’s birthdays, Christmas’ and New Years especially for Scottish people’. As well as being a cultural celebration New Years Eve is also an anniversary for Patricia. She explained during the third interview how it continues to be a symbolic and difficult time for her: ‘Well usually I er, towards New Year, it was New Years Eve I met my husband, and I was getting a bit weepy’. In addition, some of the women had lost their family members over the Christmas period itself and this was a particularly poignant time for them, Elsie for example, talked during the second interview about missing her second husband over Christmas, but also acknowledging the loss of her first husband who died around the same time of year:

Yeah, it wasn’t quite so bad this year as it was the first year. As I say it’s that time of the year when you do miss, you know. It was my er, Jack’s dad, he died in the December, just before Christmas, and of course Christmas was worse then, than when I lost Bob.

Visiting the resting place of loved ones appears to be a crucial part of

remembering especially at this time of year. Mary who lost both her husband and grandson just before Christmas, talked about recently going to the cemetery

It was two years the 20th of December that I lost my husband, you know what I mean…I lost my grandson…of course he died on the 21st of

December. So there’s the 20th for my husband and the 21st for Darren… I went to both of them a week before Christmas, I went to Earnest’s (grave) to take flowers, I went to my grandson’s because we’ve got a special pot there we have, from nana and granddad.

By contrast for some of the women visiting the resting place of their deceased husband not only demonstrates their remembrance, but also provides a sense of personal satisfaction and the fulfilment of a normative obligation particularly over the Christmas period. As Veronica explained during the third interview:

There are some days, and I felt this very recently more than ever, er even though it’s four years. But some days I cannot rest until I’ve been down to the crem, to the grave…but I feel like I’ve done my duty. I don’t know I just feel there is something about going, making the effort, I just think ‘Oh yes’, you know, ‘I’ve done It’.

In addition to Christmas the marking of other symbolic celebrations throughout the year was apparent for some of the older widows. Alice, for

example, had recently visited her husband’s grave, which she talked about during the third interview:

Oh well I took some (flowers) on the 9th of February because it was my mother’s birthday and it happened to be Valentine’s Day. So I took twelve red roses. It was my mother’s birthday but Bob is in there as well, and so that’s the last time I went down.

The home environment can also reflect an engagement with the past through other significant symbols. Molly who lost her husband at Christmas demonstrated her remembrance by framing and hanging a portrait of her and her husband on their wedding day. She described this during the second interview:

I put it up just before, two days before Christmas I think, in fact if I’m not mistaken it was the day he died as I had that, that I got that done and I put it up at Christmas.

A year had passed before Molly felt able to display this cherished photograph without becoming too distressed. This honouring of the past and taking a part of it forward into the future, demonstrates a form of continuity and seems to be integral to the process of transition. The following themes demonstrate how the continuity of family, friends and others, as well as the personal approaches of the older widows, are also key to this progression.