It never hurts to read this over quickly before getting into online dating. These are in no particular order and you should follow all of these safety measures religiously. You never know when you are being victim of fraud or worse! Before going into the various techniques of attaining love online, it is vital to learn the many safety measures first:
1.) Choose a screen name that is something completely different than your name or anything associated with your specific whereabouts and identity. I don’t have to explain why this is important. It is important, however, to choose a good,
attractive screen name which I will explain in later chapters. However, this basic guideline should be followed. There are many who choose to use their nicknames, however I do recommend against this. Although there is nothing inherently wrong with this, nicknames, generally, do not create much attraction.
2.) Give out information sparingly – to start! There is no use in giving your full name, your exact whereabouts, personal website URL (MySpace, Facebook, Nexopia, etc.), phone number, work number, place of work, or anything to compromise your identity, your family’s/friend’s identity, or your financial security. They aren’t coming over for sex or dinner just yet! Just give enough information to keep things
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interesting. That means first names only, the general area of where you live, and nothing more. Initially, do not even give out your personal e-mail address. Many dating sites have built in messaging systems that can be used temporarily before you begin to make hard contact. If someone is pressuring you to give you them any piece of vital identification or your whereabouts, it is a very clear indicator that they are not communicating for the interest of dating. Use your common sense and do not fall victim of fraud or worse.
3.) Create a separate e-mail account if you wish to be used solely for online dating. I highly recommend this. By giving someone an e-mail address, you establish a degree of trust which I will talk about in later chapters. You can easily set up a separate e-mail account anywhere which you use specifically for online dating. It only takes a few minutes! Furthermore, you can use this e-mail to establish an MSN, AIM, or Yahoo! Messenger account to establish the next step of establishing hard communication with your potential date.
4.) I know we’re getting a bit ahead of the game, but when you do meet your date, meet him or her at a public gathering. This also goes without saying. Inform somebody of your whereabouts. Being a man, (a straight man that is – I think!) I’ve never had a problem with facing any overly creepy women, but as a woman I must warn you that there are some (very rarely) extremely wild personalities out there! Usually it is pretty clear who is a creep and who is not, but through some pretty simple questions you can easily distinguish who you should avoid. Meeting
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in a public place does not always mean to meet at a coffee shop or restaurant. As you will learn in this book, there are a plethora of things to do on a first date! Never allow them to pick you up at home. Use your own means of transportation.
5.) Request a photograph. Unless you truly do not care about looks which I think is complete rubbish, requesting a photograph of somebody is a safety precaution. As I will teach you in later chapters, showing not only sexually attractive photographs, but photographs that convey that you are socially adept and fun are vital to your success in online dating. People who do not give their photograph are either insecure about their appearance (which many people find incredibly unattractive in itself even if they are gorgeous), or they have something to hide. Keep this in mind when interacting with people who refuse to give their photograph (after you give them theirs, of course). As you will learn in later chapters, there must be reciprocation – it is vital in healthy and aids in the development of social trust.
6.) Talking on the telephone is vital to online dating success, but simple precautions should be taken. Your first conversation should never take place on your home phone or personal land line. Use a cell phone if possible. You can extract much more information from a person through talking on a telephone than e-mail interaction or instant messaging. By hearing a way a person speaks, sometimes you can immediately know whether you are compatible with someone or not.
7.) Use your common sense.
dating. If someone conveys red flags which I will talk about in later chapters, it is quite possible that you are putting yourself at risk. The beauty of online dating is that you can choose when you want to pursue meeting a person or not. While you should not take your time completely when getting to know someone online, it is important to keep this measure in mind.
Keep in mind that I am not trying to scare you out of online dating. Out of my many years of online dating, I have
however, encountered many suspicious personalities online. Keep these seven points in mind and refer to them on a regular basis.
Fan
Question
Dear Derek!
I took your preventative measures and I have
situations where I have been exposed to danger! However, I
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mmon sense. There is no point taking risks when it comes to online dating. If someone conveys red flags which I will talk about in later chapters, it is quite possible that you are putting yourself at risk. The beauty of online dating is
oose when you want to pursue meeting a person or not. While you should not take your time completely when getting to know someone online, it is important to keep this measure in mind.
Keep in mind that I am not trying to scare you out of online dating. Out of my many years of online dating, I have never, ever encountered any problems. I have, however, encountered many suspicious personalities online. Keep these seven points in
nd refer to them on a regular basis. It never hurts to stay safe!
I took your preventative measures and I haven’t yet faced any situations where I have been exposed to danger! However, I
There is no point taking risks when it comes to online dating. If someone conveys red flags which I will talk about in later chapters, it is quite possible that you are putting yourself at risk. The beauty of online dating is
oose when you want to pursue meeting a person or not. While you should not take your time completely when getting to know someone online, it is
Keep in mind that I am not trying to scare you out of online dating. Out of my , ever encountered any problems. I have, however, encountered many suspicious personalities online. Keep these seven points in
yet faced any situations where I have been exposed to danger! However, I
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find it awkward when I’m turning down someone due to this suspicion. Are they any good excuses to use? I feel
somewhat mean turning these people off and I do not want to inform them of my gut feeling I have of them even though it may be wrong.
Shea ******* Vancouver, BC
____________________________
Hello Shea,
Thank you for purchasing my program. I hope you’ve experienced lots of success! There are so many people who receive several messages a day that simply do not have the time to reply to all of them. Don’t feel bad by cutting interaction off right away. It’s often best to do so other than informing people that you do not wish to carry out further interaction, or that you’ve found someone else. Often the best idea is just to ignore them completely. However if you have been interacting with this person for a considerable amount of time, simply state that you are going out of town for awhile and let the situation diffuse over time. However, if you been on a date with a person, it is mandatory to state that there will be no second date. This is etiquette. Never lead people on – it’s rude!
Apart from people you’ve actually been on dates with, cutting interactions cold turkey is usually the safest way to avoid further interaction. However if you are constantly
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receiving personal harassment, contact the online dating website and inform them about it.
Derek Lamont
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